Beyond Repair
by vampiredream83
Summary: Who can you trust when those you swore your life to protect have turned against you? Who can stop you from being consumed by the memories that are threatening to drag you under for good when all you do is push everyone away? Can Rose survive this time or is she beyond repair? DISCLAIMER: I do not own Vampire Academy nor do I own the characters you know and love from the series.
1. Prologue

_You need to keep moving!_ she told herself sternly as she pushed forward on weak legs.

It had been six hundred and thirteen days since she had seen the sun, moon or stars. Six hundred and thirteen days since she had seen the petite moroi girl with platinum blond hair wearing that disappointed look upon her face. Six hundred and thirteen days since he had uttered those four words that had destroyed her heart.

But she couldn't allow herself to think of them. Yes, he had been one of the main reasons she had survived the many months, and yes, she had constructed fantasies of him in her mind that pushed her through the darkest of moments. But she needed to focus on herself in that moment.

She needed to be free of her captors, and thinking about _them_ wasn't going to help her with that.

She knew she was being pursued, but by how many, she had no idea. Nausea wrestled with her resolve, but she needed to keep moving. It had come down to move or be killed. Although being killed sounded like a release more than anything she pushed herself to keep going. Her whole life she had been taught to fight, it was her instinct of survival mixed with _his_ first lesson that helped propel her forward.

Her body continued to scream profanities at her. The pain was almost unbearable. Images of torture flashed through her mind, but she pushed them straight back out. Remembering those times weren't an option for her…ever.

If only it was that easy.

The grass was cold and icy beneath her bare feet. Instead of being soft, it prickled into the soles of her feet with every rushed step she took. Her breaths were sharp and ragged, a piercing pain shot through her chest with every forced breath she took. But just like with every other hint of pain in her body, she ignored it.

Pain would only bring her to a stop, but she could still hear them. Shouting, calling out orders, crunching on leaves and twigs that cluttered the ground. She believed that she was moving without sound, but in truth, she was too busy straining to hear the ones behind her.

The brunette felt like she had been running for an eternity, though it had barely been fifteen minutes. The noises behind her faded and eventually stopped altogether, but she didn't allow herself to slow down. The sun was beginning to peak above the horizon, safety edged closer with every second that passed.

It was only as the first rays shone brightly across the landscape that she could breathe a sigh of relief.

In the distance she could see vague shapes, buildings dimly lit by the rising sun. Wasting no time she headed in that direction. For all she knew they could have had their little minions after her, but they were all long gone.

She was fading, and fast. There was no luxury of time left for the injured and bloodied dhampir. If she didn't find help…who knew what would happen to her.

Just as she entered the small, worn looking town she stumbled, unable to catch herself as she fell to the rough surface of the road. She laid there gasping for breaths that didn't seem to want to come. Black spots danced merrily across her vision.

The dhampir heard the brakes of a car screech, but she couldn't have braced herself for impact even if she had wanted to. The nose of a dark coloured car came to a rest only inches from her face. Seconds later car doors opened and slammed shut.

She was gently rolled onto her back, a stream of words were shouted, but to her it was only jumbled noise. She was no longer coherent as she tried to force her unwilling eyes to stay open.

The young brunette dhampir barely caught a glimpse of the kind face of a moroi woman hovering over her before her eyes closed and she slipped away.

* * *

A/N: This is the prologue for a previous fanfic I had posted 'Damaged'. As I'm coming to the end of one of my other fanfics I thought I'd give this one a fresh look.


	2. Chapter 1

Rosemarie Hathaway woke up in a cold, yet disturbingly familiar room. She had never been in that particular room before, but they all looked the same. Light blue-grey heavy duty sheet vinyl covered the floor and half way up the walls, it was the only colour apart from white in the room. The bright fluorescent lighting hurt her eyes, and the view from the small window only offered a bland brick wall.

Multiple tubes and wires ran down the right side of the dhampir's body, heading to machines designed to keep her alive and hydrated. The beeping from one machine was steady, though it significantly picked up in rhythm as soon as Rose realised she wasn't alone in the room.

A moroi woman was curled up in the foetal position on the couch across from Rose. Her long, slightly curled honey brown hair was fanned out behind her, her delicate face was much like that of a porcelain doll, only older.

Rose instantly recognised the sleeping moroi. It had been her face the dhampir had seen hovering over her own moments before her world turned black. The car had almost hit her, and Rose was sure she'd heard two doors open. Her eyes darted frantically around the small room, but she couldn't see anyone else.

Had she just imagined it?

In reply to Rose's silent question the door to her room opened without a sound, and a man – no a dhampir – slipped in before closing it again. Instinctively the muscles in her body tensed, causing a lash of pain to shoot through her entire body. Alarms shrilled through the room as her heartbeat became erratic and her body refused to relax.

The piercing sound caused the moroi woman to wake suddenly, her alert eyes focused instantly on Rose. She went to move towards the panicked dhampir, but stopped herself. She was at a loss as to what to do.

Rose's breaths came in gasps as the pain raged on. She should have been on the verge of passing out from the intensity of the pain, but the present danger was more than enough to keep her awake.

"You're safe," the moroi woman said kindly as she took a slow step towards the bed. "We aren't going to hurt you darling."

Rose opened her mouth, but no sound came out. Her throat was parched beyond imagination. It was as if she'd just spent years in the desert without any water.

The pain seemed to die down for a few seconds, but it came back, lashing through every joint and muscle in her broken body. If it was even possible, it was worse than it had been. Her back arched off the bed, causing the pain to intensify as a strangled cry escaped her lips.

Images flashed through her mind. A whip cut into the skin of her back, husky laughter filled the air as another tear rolled down her cheek. Rose closed her eyes tightly, willing the haunting memory to go away.

"Connor, get the doctor, now," the moroi woman ordered.

Death would have been a lot less painful than what Rose was experiencing in that moment. Death would have been kind.

She had fought her entire life. She had fought and it had landed her nowhere. But still she couldn't find it within herself to give up. That's why she had forced herself to continue with her escape when all she wanted to do was fall to the ground and disappear.

The door to the hospital room opened again and multiple sets of feet rushed to Rose's side. Two cold fingers rested against her neck, checking her pulse which was faster than it had ever been before. Voices filled the room, some soothing and comforting, while others were sharper and to the point. The words, however, were lost to Rose.

"I need to give you some more pain medication," the doctor informed Rose, .

"No." Rose managed to croak out.

"If I don't give you something for the pain you may cause your body more harm," the doctor stated. "The dosage won't cause any drowsiness, it will just ease the pain and discomfort."

The moment the drugs kicked in was audible. The shrill sound of the alarms stopped and the beeping slowed dramatically. Rose's body finally relaxed, and she opened her eyes.

To her right stood a middle aged woman dressed in dark blue scrubs with a white coat over the top. "Dr Darcy White" was printed on the nametag attached to the left breast of the coat. Beside her stood two other females – both human – dressed in lilac scrubs. They were young, straight out of nursing school, but both valuable assets to the hospital.

"I'm Doctor White." Her voice was soft and kind. "And these are your nurses, Megan and Tamara. You are in our intensive care department, and have been for six days now. You were brought in with extensive serious injuries and have undergone surgery three times. Once so we could to stop internal bleeding, and twice we worked to set some bones straight."

The doctor's words replayed in Rose's mind. It was a lot for her to take in. Six days unconscious, surgery, intensive care. But she was alive.

The dhampir had wished for death many times since she'd been taken, but those prayers had never been answered. And as she laid in the horribly uncomfortable hospital bed she was bewildered by the fact that she was still alive.

Her injuries should have claimed her life. In reality, the injuries she had been inflicted with in the time she had been held against her will should have claimed her life many times over. But she was still breathing, and Rose wasn't sure if that was a good thing.

After copying information from the machines onto Rose's chart, the doctor and nurses left the room with a promise to check on her again soon. Rose's eyes darted from the moroi woman to the dhampir she had called Connor. She didn't know either of them, though the woman looked eerily familiar, especially her emerald green eyes. Where had Rose seen those eyes before?

The woman walked slowly to the side of the bed. Elegance and grace radiated off her, it reminded Rose of the Princess she once knew. She was about to place a warm hand on Rose's heavily bandaged arm, but thought better of it when she saw the distraught look on Rose's face. The last thing she wanted to do was cause the dhampir any more trauma.

"My name is Patrice, Patrice Ivashkov," she said softly. Her familiarity instantly fell into place for Rose. "This is one of my guardians, Connor Jacobson."

The moroi woman was a relative of Adrian's, Rose's boyfriend six hundred and nineteen days before she had woken up in that small room. She guessed he was still technically her boyfriend, they had never officially broken up before she was taken. Though with Adrian's reputation she was sure he would have moved on – and she hoped he had. Rose wanted Adrian to be happy, and that would never happen with her since her heart permanently belonged to someone else.

"And you are?" Patrice asked.

"I don't know?" Rose croaked out.

It was a lie of course. She knew exactly who she was, where she was and what had happened to her. But as far as Rose was concerned neither Patrice or Connor needed to know that information. Especially since Patrice was a royal, that meant they definitely couldn't be trusted with any sort of information.

"Well, we know you're a dhampir, and we know your injuries couldn't have been sustained from normal guardian training or even a surprise attack," she explained. "You have untreated injuries from over a year ago. You are extremely lucky to be alive."

_Lucky to be alive?_ Rose scoffed internally. She was in no way lucky to be alive – according to Rose anyway.

She closed her eyes and slowly turned her head away from Patrice, fully aware of the pain the simple movement caused. If she had known the conversation was going to lead in that direction she would have begged the doctor to knock her out again.

Rose knew there was no one she could trust. Not after what had been done to her. And just because Patrice was putting on a caring act didn't mean the two strangers weren't in on the plan to destroy the dhampir in more ways than one.

"You can talk to me," Patrice whispered close to her ear. "I know I can't even begin to imagine what you've been through, but talking about it will help you."

"No," Rose said in barely a whisper. "Nothing will help, so do yourselves a favour and just leave."

"We won't be going anywhere Sweetie, one of us will be here with you at all times to make sure you're safe." Patrice spoke softly but her determination was clear in her voice. "We have guardians throughout the hospital to ensure nothing happens to you."

"What?" Rose snapped her head back around to face the moroi woman, ignoring the scream of pain as she did so. "I don't need protecting," she demanded.

"I'm sorry, but that's not the case, and I'm sure you know that too," Patrice said. "It's obvious what has happened to you, and with strigoi like that around we can't take the risk."

There was nothing Rose could say or do in that moment to change Patrice's mind. The dhampir was biding her time until she could get away from the hospital and them. She didn't want or need their help. Even if she did, she believed she was already a lost cause that no one could possibly help.

Patrice wasn't giving up though. She had already had plans in motion that she knew would help the unidentified dhampir. She was just waiting for the final step to fall into place.

Rose felt defeated. She saw herself as beyond saving, hell, she barely resembled living. Sure she might have been breathing, but that didn't count for much when she was close to death inside.

Her heart had been shattered six hundred and nineteen days before. It had been left in millions of pieces after he had spoken those four harsh words. Her soul had been torn away from her little by little, bit by bit, every day she had been in that shoe box sized room. She was only a shell of the girl she used to be.

A shell that no longer looked like it once had.

Patrice breathed out a long sigh and walked over to Connor who was standing in front of the door. She whispered close to his ear, telling him – in a volume Rose couldn't hear – to find out what was happening with the arrangements she had already made for the injured dhampir. She thought with the situation as it was things would have gone a lot faster than they had. Her growing impatience showed in her tone.

As soon as Patrice finished with her instructions Connor nodded swiftly and left the room.

Rose paid the pair no attention though. She only wished Patrice had gone with her guardian. Instead she closed her eyes, not wanting to sleep, but no longer wanting to see her surroundings.

Sleep would forcefully bring back the memories and images that would never fade. Her surrounding brought with them a feeling of hopeless desperation.

As she laid in the bed foreign emotions swirled inside her mind. Foreign yet so familiar. Rose hadn't willingly visited her for a long time, but they were still connected through the bond as strong as ever. As much as Rose tried to ignore the rollercoaster of emotions that raced around inside her head, she just couldn't. She was too weak physically and mentally to avoid the barrage.

She was inevitably pulled into Vasilisa's head, seeing through the eyes of the girl who had once been her best friend, her sister. Dread churned in the pit of her stomach as she saw who the moroi Princess was looking at.


	3. Chapter 2

Vasilisa was sitting in her spacious apartment, her eyes fixed on no other than Dimitri.

_Of all the people she could be looking at, why does it have to be him?_ Rose questioned bitterly.

Rose had held on to a lot of resentment for both Dimitri and the moroi girl who had meant the world to her. The pain they had caused still lingered within her, over and above what she had endured at the hands of her captors. It was unlikely she would ever be able to let go of what they had done to her.

Every day Rose saw the look of disappointment on Vasilisa's face. Every day Rose heard Dimitri's gut wrenching words that had made her heart shatter completely. She blamed them for what had happened to her, they may not have been directly involved, but Rose believed if they hadn't said or reacted the way they had she never would have accepted that mission. The mission that had led to her being held captive and tortured continuously.

But in that moment, as Rose watched Dimitri through the moroi Princess's eyes, she couldn't help but yearn for his warm and comforting embrace.

Dimitri had changed a lot since Rose had last seen him. His eyes were shadowed with pain. More than they had been while he had been fighting with his inner turmoil, straining to find any significant difference between the strigoi he had been forced to be, and the man everyone claimed he was. His hair looked dull and simply uncared for, much like the tattered and torn duster that folded its way awkwardly around his body. He still wore his infamous guardian mask, but it no longer reached his posture, his shoulders were slumped forward as he stared out the window. He'd never admit to it, but he longed to see his Roza walk into view, heading to the gathering of her friends. He wished he would wake up to find it had all been some horrible nightmare.

Guilt continued to plague the young Princess. She absentmindedly thought back to the day she had opened her door to find three guardians, their heads bowed in solemn silence. At first she was unable to believe what the guardians were telling her. She had questioned them extensively as to what had happened to her best friend and bond mate, but their answers had been the same. She had even resorted to using compulsion to ensure what they were telling her was the truth.

Her social position within moroi society meant Vasilisa couldn't mourn the loss of Rose as much as she needed to, but that didn't mean she didn't care. She had actively fought with the council to assemble search parties and she prayed every night that Rose would be brought back to her alive. She never asked for alive and well because Rose being alive was all that mattered to her – the blonde moroi believed Rose and herself could get through anything together.

Vasilisa was grateful to have Christian by her side, holding onto her tightly. Just having his arm secured around her waist made her feel stronger, with Christian by her side, she felt like she could take on the world, and win. But she couldn't bring herself to tell him what had happened the last time she had seen the eighteen year old, reckless but passionate dhampir. She felt too ashamed.

Christian tried his hardest to stay strong for Vasilisa, but as time had gone on it had become harder and harder. He knew she was struggling to deal with her duties as the last surviving Dragomir and her grief, but with the darkness within her it made it a lot worse. The Princess would often take her frustrations out on him, and while he understood it wasn't her, it didn't make it any easier.

Eddie and Mia were also in the apartment, sitting on the floor against the wall. Eddie had his arm draped over Mia's shoulders, offering her protection and comfort, as she held her knees close to her chest. It was impossible to escape the morbid atmosphere within the lounge room. Mia's stomach fluttered uneasily as she did her best not to fidget, but her hands wouldn't stay still as her arms clutched her knees together tightly.

Eddie took his job as a guardian seriously, and he had long ago perfected the art of hiding everything he felt. Even with the discomfort that filled the air around him, his mask didn't slip. But he missed Rose incredibly. Even after the time that had passed he expected her to walk through the door throwing sarcastic comments at Christian, he knew her smile would have lit up the entire room.

"He did say eleven, right?" Eddie asked impatiently.

"Yeah, but you know what he's like, he probably stopped at a bar for a drink on the way," Christian commented bitterly.

"He said it was important, I'm sure he won't be long," Lissa said harshly, Rose had never heard her use such a tone before.

Vasilisa's mind flashed with unease as she considered the reasons behind Adrian calling the group together, especially since he had included Dimitri in the invitation. But she just couldn't work it out. All search parties had returned to court months before, could it be that they had agreed to reform them? Could there be a new lead in Rose's disappearance? Vasilisa knew better than to get her hopes built up, when it was more likely they would be crushed all over again, but she couldn't help it.

She needed to hold onto hope that Rose was still alive, no matter how crushing it was when she was forced back to reality. But there was always a tiny bit of hope that Vasilisa held on to, something she had never shared with the group. She was more than sure she would have felt the bond break if Rose had died. There had also been times when she was sure some of the darkness had been taken away from her.

Rose continued her struggled to get out of Vasilisa's head. She hadn't wanted to be there to begin with, and remaining there was only causing her more pain. But her mental capabilities were too weak to succeed.

She didn't want to hear how much Vasilisa wanted her to be found, she didn't want to see Dimitri looking weak and vulnerable. She didn't want them to care. She wanted them to forget her. She didn't deny to herself that she had used images of Dimitri to get through times when there was no other way to escape the pain. But to her, that was entirely different.

A knock at the door startled Vasilisa. She stood from the couch slowly and walked to the door. It felt as though she was walking to her execution, her body suddenly weighed her down, her feet barely lifting from the plush carpet. She had no idea why Adrian wanted to see everyone, but the stirring in her stomach warned that it probably wasn't going to be good.

She opened the door to find Adrian standing lazily against the frame. He was actually sober, which took Rose by surprise, but not so much Vasilisa. She knew Adrian had barely had a drink since Rose had disappeared.

Adrian looked like he had aged about ten years since Rose had last seen him. He wore his hair in the usual messy style, but it just looked messy with no style, his emerald green eyes which matched Patrice's were shining brightly. Vasilisa was slightly taken back by his appearance.

She opened the door further so Adrian could enter. He strode in, his entire presence screamed confidence, and it took every bit of Vasilisa's energy not to scream. His casual attitude was driving her insane. The Princess sat back on the couch and moved closer to Christian, she needed the strength that only his embrace offered while she waited for Adrian to start talking.

"About time you got here," Christian grumbled.

"I had something I needed to do," Adrian responded quietly as he faced the far corner of the room. He ran his long fingers through his hair before speaking again. "Before I say anything, I need you all to agree that you will hear everything I am going to say, you won't interrupt me, and you won't storm out because I'm saying something you don't want to hear."

He looked pointedly at Dimitri with his last comment, and Rose couldn't help but wonder what that was all about. Dimitri and Adrian had never been what anyone would class as friends, but it was an odd request given that Rose couldn't imagine Dimitri acting in such a way.

After Dimitri nodded swiftly Adrian looked at each of Rose's old friends in turn, each of them agreeing to the terms with a nod of their heads. Each of their faces showed a variety of emotions, but they were mainly pooling towards sorrow and confusion.

"It shouldn't come as any surprise that our most recent request to have new search parties formed to find Rose have yet again been denied," he stated, his words were met with more nods, it had been expected. "My Aunt explained that the resources aren't available since the attack on the Russian academy last week, and she unfortunately believes that it has been too long to find any new evidence to suggest where Rose could be."

Adrian paused as the group took in what he was saying. Vasilisa knew the attack on the academy would have made their request almost impossible, yet again. But still she had held onto hope that the Queen would finally grant them this one thing.

"So it's all over now?" Christian asked. "We're not going to ask anymore?"

A tear escaped from Vasilisa's eye and made the slow journey down her cheek. The pain was almost intolerable as once again her hopes began to fall away. The council had rejected their request for search parties countless times, she didn't see much point in continuing to ask when they would just say no.

"I'm not giving up," Adrian said, his voice full of confidence. "I know Rose is still out there, the fact Lissa hasn't felt their bond break is more than enough evidence for me." He paused again, wiping the back of his hand across his forehead, feeling the pressure of what he was about to say. "My cousin was supposed to arrive on court almost a week ago. She was coming to learn and practice spirit with Lissa and myself, but she never made it."

"What's this have to do with finding Rose?" Eddie asked.

"I'm getting to that," Adrian snapped before smiling apologetically. "Patrice didn't make it because she found a dhampir. I only know what my Aunt has told me, but the dhampir was badly injured…"

Adrian's words trailed off as Rose became overwhelmed by the darkness swirling around her. She knew the darkness wasn't part of her – yet – but it had taken both her and Vasilisa away from what Adrian had been saying. Rose was desperate to hear his words, especially since she was more than certain he had been talking about her. She, however, couldn't break through the darkness. Without much thought – apart from not wanting to take too much – Rose sucked some of the darkness into herself.

Everything seemed to happen at once. Rose heard a gasp escape from the Princess's lips, but she was left with no time to comprehend why Vasilisa had done so. At that exact same moment a warm hand rested on her arm, instantly ripping her away from her bond mate's mind, throwing her back into her own.

Rose's eyes shot open in fear. Her mind raced as Patrice's face became clearer. _What just happened?_ Rose questioned in disbelief. She had never experienced anything like it in her life. One minute she was struggling to pull away from the bond with no avail, the next she was all but catapulted out. Sure Vasilisa had blocked her out at times, but this was completely different. Even the time Avery had interfered with her bond with Vasilisa didn't compare to what had just happened.

Her mind traced back to the moments before she had been ripped away from Vasilisa's mind. Rose had heard her bond mate gasp, but she no idea what had caused it. It could have been something that Adrian had said, or had the Princess felt Rose get torn away?

Scattered words came through the bond as Vasilisa attempted to make contact with Rose, but Rose's thoughts were too out of control, and Patrice's hand was still resting on Rose's arm.

"So," Patrice began, her voice soft, "how long have you been bonded for?"

"Ex…excuse me?" Rose stuttered in shock.

"You were just in the mind of your bond mate," she explained. "I've seen it many times before. And I'm not sure you are in the best of conditions to be taking any of their darkness."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Yet another lie, but the less Patrice knew about her the better.

"Did you hear any names, or see anything or anyone that was familiar?" Patrice probed.

"No," Rose stated, she was quickly becoming irritated by the interrogation. "Get your hand off me." Patrice ignored Rose's demand.

The dhampir was beginning to lose what patience she had left, and with the darkness she'd taken from Vasilisa, that definitely wasn't a good thing. The last thing Rose wanted was to lose control and end up sedated and strapped to the bed like a crazy woman. She needed to get away from the hospital, not be restrained in it.

Movement by the door led Rose's eyes in that direction. There stood a dhampir, dressed casually in worn jeans and a shirt, hands behind his back, his eyes fixed on the wall above Rose's head. His dusty blond hair was cut short, and his brown eyes held little light, just like any guardian who took their job seriously – or had no personality.

While a heavy sigh Rose focused on the ceiling, trying to ignore the hand that still rested on her arm. She wished she had stayed in Vasilisa's mind just a little longer, but only because she wanted more information. Adrian knew a dhampir had been found by his cousin, and Rose had a strong feeling he believed it was her. Perhaps he'd known what Patrice was planning to do with her?

Rose struggled to keep her breathing steady. Patrice was too observant for Rose's liking, and she didn't want to have the woman clued in on the fact she knew more than she was letting on. But the fact that Patrice _still_ had her hand resting on Rose's arm made it almost impossible to keep her breathing and heart from racing away from her.

The door to the room opened and Connor entered, motioning for Patrice to go to him. It was quite uncharacteristic, Rose thought, that a guardian would command something of their moroi, unless it was a threatening situation. Especially since Patrice was a royal moroi, and there was supposed to be no danger within the hospital. Connor whispered close the moroi's ear, a small smile formed on her lips as she nodded in reply.

Rose instantly felt uncomfortable.

Connor opened the door further and motioned for someone else to enter. Another moroi woman walked in, dressed professionally in a grey pant suit and heels. Her hair was pulled tightly into a bun. The dhampir recognised the woman immediately, she had known her for almost her entire life. They had been well acquainted since Rose had required the services of the infirmary so often.

Fear screamed through her body as an unidentified noise spilled through her lips.

"Please relax Rose," Doctor Olendzki said softly. "You are safe now my dear, we will take good care of you."

The doctor's words churned inside Rose's mind, but disappeared as soon as she felt the needle cut through her skin. Her eyes open wide, but before a single word can escape her lips she was overwhelmed by an inescapable need to sleep. Her unwilling eyes wouldn't remain open, no matter how much she tried. Darkness wrapped around her, urging her to feel safe. It didn't offer that much comfort, but it's all she had to hold onto.

Rose was pulled unwillingly into the world of nightmares. The place she will never be safe in, no matter where she turns.


	4. Chapter 3

_A scream cut through the air causing yet another round of laughter. It was sick that anyone could find such amusement in someone else's suffering. She didn't want them to know the pain they were inflicting on her was causing her such distress, but there was nothing she could do to stop the screams escaping her lips._

_It had been weeks since she had been asked to help on a mission to recover a royal moroi who had been taken by strigoi. The mission was being guarded by secrecy, the last thing the guardians wanted was to cause panic on court. They knew where the moroi was being held, but they weren't sure on how many strigoi were likely to be at the location. _

_Rose had been more than willing to go. After the day she'd had she longed for something – anything – to take her mind off it all. His words haunted her as they drove out of court. He didn't love her anymore, and that tore apart what was left of her heart. She didn't know what she was going to do, she didn't know what she could do. She couldn't force him to change his mind, as much as she wanted to try to._

_After the mission was completed, Rose needed to decide what she was going to do with her life now that it no longer included Dimitri._

_But she hadn't had the opportunity to make that decision. Something had gone terribly wrong._

_Rose was brought back to her horrid reality as the red hot iron was once again pressed against her skin. The searing pain was unexplainable as another cry left her lips. The torturers had been relentless, spending hours each day taking her to within an inch of death, only to have her healed so they could do it all over again the next day._

_Again the hot iron was pushed into her skin, this time at the small of her naked back. Black spots danced across her vision as unconsciousness threatened to pull her under. A face came into view as someone stood in front of her, a sickening smile stretched across his thin lips. Her eyes drooped, his lips moved but she couldn't hear his words before he slapped her across the face. Strapped to his hand was leather imprinted with tiny metal fragments. One of the specialty items he used when Rose was close to passing out from the pain._

Rose's eyes flew open as her nightmare shook her to the bone. Every time she closed her eyes the torture she had endured was there to greet her. She knew it would never allow her a moment of peace, especially when sleep was forced upon her.

Her eyes widened as the events that took place in the hospital reformed in her mind. She frantically looked around the room, hoping to find she was still in the same dull hospital room she had been in, that she had imagined or dreamt the familiar doctor and needle that caused her to fall asleep. But it became painfully obvious she had been moved.

She was alone in the room, much to her relief. But even with that peace of mind, she wasn't able to calm her chaotic thoughts. She had no idea where she was now, but it was obviously another hospital room. Perhaps it was in the same hospital, but Rose strongly doubted that. She had more than enough reason to believe she was on court.

The one place in the world she couldn't be.

After everything that had happened, after everything they had done to her, she would have felt more comfortable in Antarctica. Her anxiety levels rose as just the thought of being on court hit her. What if they found out? They could get to her again, and do a lot worse than they already had. Her heart rate increased, a cold sweat broke out across her forehead.

She needed to get away. She didn't care how or where, she'd walk across the country if need be. She threw the covers off and forced her legs off the side of the bed. Ripping the cords that connected her to various machines sent a shrill sound throughout the room, but she didn't care. Rose pushed herself to stand unsteadily, taking a moment to gain some balance before she stumbled to the door.

The door led to a quiet hall. The colours mirrored those in her room. Right or left, she didn't know which way would lead her to an exit of any kind, she had never been to the hospital on court. After hesitating a few seconds she went left. Her legs were stiff and her body ached, but she continued moving, using the wall to keep her upright.

She continued to walk as fast as she could, but that wasn't very fast. Rose still had injuries from the months of torture, her right leg all but dragged behind her with each shuffled step she took. Pain continued to flame through her muscles and bones.

The dhampir came to another corridor and opted to go down it, only because it meant she didn't need to let go of the wall. But it paid off. At the end of the short passage there was a fire door. The door was heavy as she heaved it open a fraction at a time. An alarm sounded in the hospital, alerting security to the use of the exit.

Once out the door Rose didn't stop. In the darkness of the night she could barely see, her eyes were taking their time adjusting from the brightness within the hospital. She stumbled again, but this time she couldn't catch herself. She fell to the ground clutching her chest as she gasped for breath. Tears fell from her eyes as her mind tormented her, threatening her with the prospect of being taken again.

"Ma'am?" a male voice said, the sound ripped through Rose like a violent explosion. "Are you okay?"

"No! Get away from me!" Rose screamed as she looked up at the figure looming over her. "Get away! Don't touch me! Please don't hurt me…"

"I'm not going to hurt you," he said as he kneeled in front of her. "What happened?"

Rose lashed out, her arms and legs thrashed as she attempted to hit him. "Get away from me," she screamed again.

Her foot connected with his face sending the dhampir stumbling backwards. Adrenalin pumped through Rose's veins, giving her a much needed boost of energy. She made it to her feet and ran, stumbling away from the dhampir she'd felt so threatened by.

Grass turned to asphalt as she ran onto a road. Brakes squealed as a car swerved to miss the disoriented dhampir. Images flashed through her mind, she couldn't tell which of them were real, and which were fantasies conjured by her mind. She turned on the spot as explosions of light and colour filled her vision.

The sound of car doors opening brought her back to a reality of some sort. She moved away from the sounds, but the footsteps gained on her. Rose knew she couldn't outrun them so she turned and swung. Her elbow connected with something hard resulting in a satisfying crack.

She turned to get away from the second attacker, but before she could take a single step two strong arms coiled around her, trapping her arms against her sides.

"Shh Roza," a soft voice said. Rose was too lost in her panic to recognise the soothing tone. "I'm not going to hurt you. No one will hurt you again I promise."

"Let me go," Rose cried. "Please, please just let me go. I won't tell."

Tears streamed down her face as she struggled to free herself. The words she had uttered were ones she had said repeatedly. Begging her torturers to free her, promising she would never tell a soul who they were or what they had done.

"Shh Roza," the soft voice soothed again.

"I can't do this anymore," Rose whispered. "Please just kill me."

"Who did this to you Roza?"

"You did."

Her struggles died down, however the arms around her remained tight. Her head lulled backwards against his firm chest, she no longer had any strength. Her feet left the ground as she was lifted carefully into his arms. He cradled her gently against his chest, whispering softly as they began moving. The soft rocking motion soothed her, her eyes fell closed and she slipped away.

~:~:~:~:~

"We aren't sure if she had a reaction to the sedatives, or if she suffered some kind of emotional break," a woman said.

"And when will you know for sure?" a voice asked in a slightly accented tone. It was a voice Rose would have known anywhere.

She couldn't open her eyes, but Rose could see his face in her mind. It wasn't the face of the man she'd fallen in love with. His eyes were haunted, his lips pulled tightly in a frown. He was still the gorgeous man she had ever seen.

She wanted to open her eyes, she wanted to know what was going on. She was sure _they_ would know she'd been taken there. Were they waiting for an opportunity to rip her away again? Her eyes remained closed, her mind was foggy. She knew she would slip away again soon.

"It's going to take some time," the woman said. "You need to understand she has suffered a lot of injuries, both her body and mind need time to recover. We will have the spirit users in each day to heal her physical injuries slowly."

"I'm not leaving," Dimitri said, determination strong in his tone.

"I understand you were Rose's mentor at the academy, but you need to understand that Rose is extremely traumatised. I'm not sure if it would be a good thing having her wake up with someone in the room, and according to Patrice, she has limited memory, it's likely she may not know who you are."

"Not having someone here caused more injury and trauma to her," Dimitri countered. "I'm not leaving."

The woman sighed and left the room. Dimitri seemed to have convinced her that no matter what, he wasn't leaving Rose's side. He slid a chair closer to the bed and sat heavily.

"God, I wish I knew who did this to you Roza," he whispered as he ran his thumb across her hand, the feeling caused her skin to tingle.

The room grew quiet as Rose slipped unwillingly into unconsciousness again.

~:~:~:~:~

"Are you sure this is a good idea Dimitri?" Vasilisa asked as she stood beside the bed, looking down at the girl who barely resembled her best friend. "I know you want to keep her safe, but it can't be easy for you."

"I'm fine Princess," Dimitri said dismissively. "This is where I need to be."

"Do you want me to stay with her while you freshen up?" she asked. "I'm about to do some healing on her and there are guardians just outside."

Dimitri had been sitting with Rose for three days. He had barely eaten and hadn't showered at all in that time. A shower was tempting, but leaving the thought of leaving Rose was almost unbearable.

"The doctor said you could use the staff showers," Vasilisa added. "That way you don't need to go across court and back again."

With a swift nod Dimitri left the room, leaving the Princess to heal Rose.

Vasilisa hovered her hands just above Rose's skin. Doctor Olendzki had told her to be careful, that touching Rose was not a good idea. The moroi princess didn't understand the reasons behind it though. Still she made sure she didn't make any contact.

Rose felt the familiar sensation of spirit healing her left leg. It was somewhat painful, but she couldn't have reacted if she'd wanted to. Her eyes still wouldn't open, she couldn't make her body move.

She wanted to move away from the healing.

~:~:~:~:~

"I wish you would wake up Roza," Dimitri said. He was sitting close enough that she could feel his breath on her neck. "There's so many things I need to say to you. And sorry is on the top of that list."

Rose's mind was a lot less foggy than it had been days before. She felt she was finally coming back to herself. Not her old self by a long shot, but she could feel the fog of unconsciousness lifting off her.

Her fingers twitched, able to move after what seemed like an eternity. The movement didn't go unnoticed by Dimitri either.

"Roza?" he said. "Can you open your eyes?"

His voice held a little more life than it had the previous times she'd heard him talk. As much as she wanted to open her eyes, to be awake for the first time in at least a week, she didn't want to see Dimitri. He had hurt her, and she was nowhere near ready to face that, even if it was an apology he wanted so desperately to say.

Her fingers moved again. They were stiff and ached with the movement. Her eyes fluttered open for a second. But her eyelids were still very heavy. She tried to open them again, it was like they had been glued together. Finally she succeeded, her eyes opened and she was met by the warm brown eyes of her former lover.

"Oh thank God," he breathed, and continued when she didn't say anything. "Do you know where you are?"

Rose looked at him for a moment. Everything she had tried to forget came rushing back. Those words he spoke in the church so long ago still hurt her, as if he'd only said them yesterday. Before her eyes his face transformed to the way it had been that day, his hard guardian mask prevented any emotions slipping past. He had done what he'd set out to do, he had convinced her that he no longer loved her.

A sharp pain cut through her chest. Her heart exploded with the reality all over again. She looked away from him, tears welling in her eyes.

"Hey, it's okay," Dimitri said softly as he rested his hand on her arm.

"Don't touch me," Rose cried, her voice hoarse from the lack of liquid.

"I'm not going to hurt you Roza," he said, his voice was filled with pain.

Rose stayed silent, though she was thankful when Dimitri removed his hand. He got up, walked to the door and spoke softly to someone standing outside. Once he was done he walked slowly back to his seat. Every step was measured, he was careful not to make any sudden movements, he didn't want to startle the brunette dhampir that was thinner than any moroi he'd ever seen.

"The doctor will be here shortly," he said as he sat.

The room was silent until the middle-aged moroi doctor Rose knew all too well entered the room. She had aged slightly, but it wasn't overly obvious. She walked to the machines stationed next to the bed and smiled down at Rose.

"It's good to see you awake again," she said softly. "How are you feeling?"

Rose didn't reply. Aside from screaming the words that were becoming a common occurrence, Rose had decided silence was her best option. She was sure there would come a time where Dimitri would leave the room, and she would take full advantage of that moment. As soon as she was strong enough she would leave. She hadn't worked out the details, mainly because her mind couldn't find any space to formulate any. But until that time, she wasn't going to talk to anyone.

"Okay," the doctor said once it was clear Rose wasn't going to talk. "Each day Princess Dragomir has come in to heal you a little. She is making steady progress with your physical injuries. It's a slow process, but we don't want Vasilisa becoming too overwhelmed with darkness, and we don't want you taking any of that darkness." Doctor Olendzki paused as she wrote information on Rose's chart. "The Queen's guardians are waiting to take a statement from you as well."

Rose's stomach churned uncontrollably at the thought of anyone else being near her. As much as Dimitri might have hurt her, she knew she was safe in his presence, and the doctor she couldn't do much about. But the thought of having anyone else near her, especially guardian's she didn't know cause panic to rise in her again.

The machine monitoring her heart alarmed as her heart rate increased. Her body began to shake uncontrollably as fear consumed her.

"I need you to try and steady your breathing Rose," the doctor said, there was urgency to her tone. "I won't let the guardians in if that's what is scaring you."

"Roza," Dimitri said softly. "I will not let anyone hurt you ever again, I promise you." His hand moved towards her arm again, but he thought better of it. "If you don't want those guardians in here, we'll find another way."

Dimitri's words soothed Rose in a way she couldn't understand. She put it down to the fact that she still trusted him, even after he had broken her heart. She could feel the fast rhythm of her heart slow, her breathing became steady.

"You need to get some more rest," the doctor said once the alarms stopped. "I won't sedate you again, unless I have to that is."

The doctor left the room, leaving Dimitri and Rose alone again. While she might be able to trust him, she still couldn't bring herself to look at him. It hurt too much. And the thought of anyone, even him, touching her caused her mind to race and panic to set in again. So she continued to face the opposite wall, willing sleep not to find her.

Eventually the haze of exhaustion became too much for the damaged dhampir, and sleep inevitably pulled her under.


	5. Chapter 4

Rose's eyes fluttered sleepily. She tried to rouse herself awake, but that was easier said than done. Her thoughts were hazy and she had no idea how long she had been asleep for. She figured if her tiredness was anything to go by it hadn't been very long.

It was the familiar sensation of spirit healing her that finally caused her eyes to stay open. Dimitri sat on her left, the chair hadn't moved since she had fallen asleep. On her right stood Vasilisa. Her hands hovered just above Rose's right left. The moroi Princess's healing powers flowed through her muscles and into the bone.

Panic ripped through Rose. She recognised the spirit wielding moroi, but that didn't stop the violent tremors that shook her fragile body.

"Princess," Dimitri said calmly, "can you step back, please?"

"I'm not finished yet," Vasilisa replied. Her eyes were closed as she concentrated on healing Rose's injuries, so she was completely unaware of the dhampir's response.

"Please Princess," Dimitri said again, his voice pleading. "I need you to step away from Rose."

The monitors beside Rose sounded an alarm as her heart rate increased. Sweat covered her forehead, her body shook, the convulsions caused pain to stream through her body. A strangled cry escaped her lips, and it was only then that the Princess opened her eyes.

Vasilisa instantly took a shaky step backwards. Her eyes were wide as Rose's reaction settled in her mind.

"Rose?" Vasilisa said, her voice shook slightly. "It's me, Lissa, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm trying to help you heal faster."

Rose's eyes hadn't left the Princess since she had fully woken, they bore into the blonde moroi. She watched every movement Vasilisa made. Alarms still sounded from the machine, but Rose could barely hear it now. Her heartbeat continued to increase, her body continued to shake, her fear continued to escalate.

Vasilisa's words had offered her no comfort at all.

The door opened and Doctor Olendzki entered. She paused briefly to gage the situation before dipping her head respectfully towards the Princess. She moved to the machines but focused on Rose.

"I need to you take slow, deep breaths Rose," Doctor Olendzki said as she pushed a button to stop the screeching alarm. "No one here is going to hurt you dear."

Rose's eyes were filled with panic as they darted quickly to the doctor and then Dimitri. Her hands opened and closed rapidly as anxiety made her nerve endings come alive. Her breathing was fast becoming hyperventilating, each short, sharp breath sent a burning pain through her lungs.

She tried in vain to do as the doctor instructed, but only because she felt like she would pass out from a lack of oxygen.

Her mind was filled with frightening images. Soon her anxiety was equalled with fear.

Dimitri closed his warm hand around hers. Her eyes met his, and all she could see was peace, serenity. She tried to tell him to get away from her, but the words barely formed in her mind and her open mouth produced only a whimper. He held her hand firmly as her fingers continued to flex uncontrollably.

"If you can't bring yourself to relax Rose, I will need to consider alternate methods," the doctor said softly. "Could you wait outside please Princess?"

"Roza," Dimitri breathed as Vasilisa left the small room. "Remember what I told you? That I won't let anyone hurt you again?

Rose continued to stare at him, her head moved fractionally in a nodding motion.

"I meant it Roza," he said. "I will never let anyone hurt you ever again, do you believe me?"

Rose slowly turned her head away from Dimitri. She looked at the doctor, but she wasn't seeking her agreement to what Dimitri had said. Continuing to look at Dimitri was tearing at her heart. She nodded her head slightly as she was crushed by emotions that threatened to overpower her.

Her heartbeat slowed gradually to a normal rhythm, her body eventually stopped shaking. She finally relaxed onto the hospital bed.

Pain continued to pulse through Rose. Every muscle, joint and bone in the dhampir's body felt like a million tiny needles were continuously stabbing into them. She closed her eyes and begged for the pain to stop. She couldn't bare the memories it brought with it. But the pain showed no signs of leaving.

"Rose," the doctor said, there was a hint of hesitation in her voice. "I need to give you some pain medication. Your ECG results are showing an irregular heart beat."

Rose didn't reply, she didn't see much point. She didn't care if the painkillers knocked her out. Sure sleep would bring her horrid and realistic nightmares, but that seemed more kind than the reality of having Dimitri so physically close to her.

She felt the coolness of the medication enter her system through the IV line. Moments later fatigue washed over her. She welcomed it, she embraced it. Though deep down, she dreaded the nightmares that would undoubtedly come with it.

~:~:~:~:~

Vasilisa retuned to her apartment and collapsed onto the couch. She was exhausted and her mind wouldn't stop going over what had happened while she had been healing Rose. She clearly remembered the way her best friend had looked at her. The fear in her eyes had been unmistakable and that troubled the moroi princess to no end.

"I didn't expect you to be back so soon," Christian said as he entered the lounge room from the kitchen. He stopped short when he saw the distraught look on Lissa's face. "What happened?"

"Oh it was awful Chris," Vasilisa said as tears began to fall. "Rose woke up while I was healing her, the fear in her eyes when she looked a me…the doctor asked me to leave so she could calm Rose down. I just don't understand it."

"She's been through a lot Liss," Christian said as he pulled her closer to him. "It's going to take some time before she's back to her old self again."

Christian's words did little to soothe Vasilisa's troubled mind. Rose had looked at her as if she was planning on hurting the dhampir. And of course that was outrageous. Lissa would never dream of hurting the girl who had been her best friend – her sister – since they were only four, she thought Rose would have known that too. The Princess was having a hard time understanding any of it.

She thought Rose would have been happy, relieved even, to see her again. The pair had always worked thought their problems together, so Vasilisa had expected Rose to feel the relief she always had when Rose helped her.

A knock at the door caused the couple to break apart. Christian rose from the couch and walked to the door as Vasilisa wiped the tears from her eyes. She hadn't been expecting any visitors, and the intrusion agitated her. She needed some alone time to work through her chaotic thoughts.

"What are you guys doing here?" Christian asked.

"Belikov rang, told us to come here so he could share what he's found out," Adrian replied as he entered the apartment along with Eddie and Mia.

"Dimitri won't leave Rose," Vasilisa said distantly as the three visitors came into her view. She was more than a bit jealous that Dimitri could stay when she couldn't.

"He said he'd call," Eddie said as he slid down the wall and sat on the floor.

_I was only there fifteen minutes ago_, Vasilisa thought,_ what could he have possibly found out since then?_ Possibilities circled around the Princess's mind, but the main prospect she could think of was that Rose didn't want to see her again. Vasilisa hoped that wasn't the case, she especially didn't want to be told that with an audience around.

Five minutes later Vasilisa's phone rang. Hesitantly, she took it from the coffee table and answered the call.

"Hello?" she said meekly.

"Hello Princess," Dimitri replied. "Could you put speaker on please?"

"Okay," Vasilisa said as she pushed the speaker button. She placed the phone back on the table as the others gathered closer to the phone. "Done, and everyone is here."

"Okay," Dimitri replied. It sounded like he was trying to prepare himself for what he was about to say. "Rose is asleep again, though Doctor Olendzki needed to sedate her to relieve some pain."

Vasilisa's stomach rolled causing a sensation of nausea to hit her. She felt awful that she had caused Rose so much distress, even though she still couldn't understand what had happened.

"Is that the only reason you called?" Adrian asked, his voice portrayed his impatience and dislike for Dimitri. It was no secret that he hated Dimitri being with Rose when he couldn't be.

"No," Dimitri said bluntly. "I called because we need to consider getting Rose away from court."

"What?" Adrian spat. "You want to take her away from the people who love her, the people who can help her recover?"

"Why Dimitri?" Vasilisa asked, she did her best to ignore Adrian's anger. She knew Dimitri would only be looking out for what was best for Rose.

"The report has been completed," Dimitri explained, "on the house that was searched near where Rose was found."

"And?" Adrian demanded.

"I'm not going to go into details, but there is a good reason to get Rose away from court," Dimitri said, he obviously didn't want to tell the group what the report had concluded.

"You can't just expect us to let you take Rose away from us without any explanation," Adrian said, his voice had risen, his tone was hard. "There's no way she's going anywhere with _you_."

"You want to read the report Ivashkov?" Dimitri asked, his voice mirrored Adrian's. "You want to read what they believe happened to Rose while she was being held?"

Adrian fell quiet. Dimitri's voice started off hard, but had ended with so much angst. Vasilisa dreaded to know what had been put in the report, but the words left her mouth before she could stop them.

"What does the report say Dimitri?" she asked softly.

"It's highly unlikely that strigoi were involved in the kidnapping and torture of Rose," Dimitri replied in a solemn tone.

"Who then?" Mia asked. Her forehead was slightly creased in confusion.

"The report has concluded that moroi are responsible."


End file.
